So since I spilled my heart out to the italian we didn't see much of each other anymore or speak or text or message. I ended up seeing him about a month ago in Barcode where once again I was high and drunk and he seemed like he was alone, which made him look a little sad for me. So I hooked up with some guy and we made out and one my way out for a cig the italian tells me "Don't go home with him,he's not worth you, he's no good for you." Made me think, but not for long. And again as italian was leaving while me and this guy were talking he interrupted us to say goodbye. By me being high still after 5 minutes I deciced to go after him, thank goodness I did not find him on my way home.
On a random Wednesday I decided to meet up with friends I hadn't seen for a while. So we did, early evening in Soho. We had a great time, how can you not for £1.70 pints fo cider and jägerbombs? We went from one bar to the other and another one and then back again, then mostly all left, it was just me and Ksenia and for a drunken reason we decided to call the place where the italian works to see if it's still opened since we were hungry.
I called and he was the one to pick up, they were open. We went, ate, Ksenia got a piece of cake, he said it's on the house. We left, 10 steps from the restaurant...breakdown, cried, sobbed, hysterical all the way home, on the street, at the bus stop, on the bus. It's funny now but wasn't back then. I also messaged him and the basic conclusion was that he wants to be friends with me but this is not the time. But it was good, to cry, to get it all out.
So I did manage to stay good for 2 weeks and 2 weekends but this Sunday did end up going out, had a great time, met some new people, saw some old faces. It was a good night out, even got lovebites the next day from a boy I met. Then got some more of them on tuesday night. He seems really sweet and nice so who knows where this will go.
Went to the park yesterday with Ksenia, 5 minutes into sitting down on the grass, she looks over my shoulder and jokes "Emiliano is coming!" I started laughing, she said she's not kidding.
I turned and out of all the places, all the days, all the hours, all the corners of the park, there he was with his housemate. They walked by, nods were nodded, hands waved and that's it. I felt at ease, stable. No more hysterics, no more wanting to leave the place where he is, just stability. I am not sure what the future will bring, if we will ever communicate or have a friendship between us or will it stay the way this last meeting was, just a wave and a nod. But whatever it will be, I know I will be okay.
Spring has arrived, it's time to grow, time to enjoy this sun, the fresh smell of grass, the light breeze that will carry your winter worries far far away. Time for a fresh start.
